Indeed, for a father to serve as a faithful personal example to his children and instill in them true faith and fear of God, he must first plant within his own heart faith in his children, in the sanctity of their souls, and in their ability to overcome any situation and achieve greatness. From this perspective, he should thank God for every child he has received, regardless of their circumstances. As we find explicitly in the Torah (Exodus 12:26-27): “And it shall be, when your children say to you, 'What do you mean by this service?' that you shall say, 'It is the Passover (Pesach) sacrifice to the Lord, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt when He struck the Egyptians and delivered our households.'” And the people bowed their heads and worshipped.” Rashi explains: “The people bowed – for the good news of the redemption, the coming to the land, and the news of the children they would have.” Later (Exodus 13:5), he explains: “The text speaks of a wicked son who has excluded himself from the community.” It turns out that the children of Israel thanked God even for the wicked son who would ask, “What do you mean by this service?” This is also hinted at the beginning of the verse “And it shall be” (והיה), which is an expression of joy.

The reason is that no evil descends from heaven, and everything can be turned to good. We must see this child as a divine challenge and mission, to merit him, to revive him, and to improve his end through appropriate education. Therefore, the Torah commands the father to answer even the question of the wicked son and not to ignore him. Perhaps this is why it is stated in the plural, “you shall say” (ואמרתם), to include the mother as well, who should provide him with the best emotional support and help open his heart to the Torah and commandments.

Regarding what the author of the Haggadah said, “You should blunt his teeth,” it should be noted that he did not say, “Strike his teeth,” indicating that it is not about a crushing attack, but rather managing a debate to bring him to recognize his situation and awaken a desire to escape from it.

The author of the Haggadah concludes the response to the wicked son in a third-person manner: “For me and not for him; if he had been there, he would not have been redeemed,” rather than saying, “For me and not for you; if you had been there, you would not have been redeemed.” Perhaps the intention is that the father should respond, “For this, the Lord did for me when I came out of Egypt,” using words that attribute the miracles and the Exodus to himself, and the son will understand that he is not included. This means that the father should rebuke him indirectly and subtly, to preserve his dignity and also give the words a positive tone, indicating that the Lord redeemed from Egypt only those who wanted to be redeemed to perform this service.

It is clear that this is not easily achieved, as the author of the Haggadah states: “Our toil – this refers to the children.” The Rashba interprets this as referring to the toil of life and the pursuit of livelihood, most of which are for the sake of the children. However, the author of Sefer Hachinuch (Seder Pesach, Siman 218) interprets it as referring to the pain of raising and educating children, similar to the well-known story of the Chafetz Chaim, of blessed memory, who told someone who came to ask for a blessing for good children that this is not achieved through a blessing but through tears and sleepless nights.